the climb.

Hey. I haven't blogged in years, and i figured it's time to start again.

well, it's been a long time since i had this feeling. the feeling of second-guessing myself.needless to say, it isn't a good feeling, but i realised that i've been carrying this feeling around with me for the past 10 months.

alot has happened in the past 2 weeks, and i've learnt alot about myself and the people around me. i now know that there will always be those who will stick with me no matter what happens and i'm extremely grateful and thankful to have them.

i don't think i've ever been this low or lost in the past 17 years of my life, maybe to some people, i may seem foolish and immature for saying that this is the lowest i've gone in the past 17 years. but for those who know me, you'll know that this isn't me, and i've never ever taken things this hardly. someone told me recently : maybe the reason why you're feeling this way, is because you've never failed this badly in life, so you feel lost and unsure of yourself and your future.but never doubt yourself and your ability because you can do it. just learn from this incident and then find yourself again.

i think she's right. everyone whose been comforting me and advicing me in the past 2 weeks have been right. the road ahead is still long enough for me to go on, and one day i'll be okay again. everyone has their bad times but eventually things will work out on it's own. though as of right now,i know that crying and talking makes me feel better because it shows that i'm finally learning how to accept and only when i accept can i move on.

when tomorrow comes, the path i'm ment to take will be shown to me, and from there on, i'll need to change myself. the future is filled with uncertainties and my future path may be bumpy and hard to walk, but i know that i will never be alone because i'm lucky enough to have people who will stand by me and help me always. it's time for me to stop wallowing in self pity and guilt, because i need to find myself again and stand back up on my feet.

i guess at the end of the day, i just hope to find the courage to find myself and face my future, be it good or bad, i WILL learn to be okay again.

when you've hit rock bottom, the only way to go, is up.