Truth is.

We have a tendency to complicate things.

Truth is, it's all pretty straight forward:

If you don't matter to someone, you'll know.

And if you do, they'll show it.

School's been busy: Week 4, a month into this madness. But I'm finding more joy in being busy than when I have free time - Christine was right, too much free time just means thoughts running around uncontrollably like wild horses.

I came to the realization above these few days, after reflecting upon my suppose friendships with some people in my life. I've lost some friends in the last 2 weeks (or maybe I'm in the midst of losing, the meaning doesn't really vary anyways) Point is they were, they are still, important. 

For reasons unsaid, but somewhat understood, I just stood by and watch it slip away. Truth is, I don't really actually matter to these people. I did at a point, maybe? Perhaps? I don't really know anymore. Does it matter? Maybe only to me.

Too many people come and go. 

We live in a society where people take genuine sincerity and concern and twist it, and see it as someone who wants something to gain, someone expanding their options, playing their cards right to gain favours, attention.

I wonder if we ever realised how honestly messed up that thinking is.

And you wonder why it's so difficult to trust in the world these days? Why people rather be mean and manipulative - everyone's going to think that way of you anyways. They all look at you with the same messed up thinking, even when they know the real you. That's the scary part.

Everyday I tell myself to forget it: that there are people in life just meant to be kept at arm's length. Even if you've become close and you thought it was different, everything can change in a moment. You go back to being strangers, acquaintances. Like nothing ever happened.

Truth is, it hurts like hell.

But just like what the world expects: keep that head up, that smile on. 

All those mixed feelings, bury them deep

and keep going.

No one really cares that we're all hurting inside anyways.