a different sunrise.

i found the time to take a stroll early this morning. and so i found myself on the roof of the multi-story carpark, waiting for the sun to rise. honestly, i didn't sleep for the entire night and that is rare for me. surprisingly, i was still wide awake come dawn. maybe it's because i was occupied in thought for the whole night.
this is what i saw this morning.

                                                
                                                                     6:22 am

                                                                    6:30 am

                                                                     6:51 am

                                                                  7:02 am

today wasn't the first time i watched the sun  rise. yet today's sunrise holds a special meaning, because when the sun rose today, i think i've finally made a decision. i've been thinking about this for sometime now, but it wasn't till last night did i get a chance to fully understand the consequences and meaning behind a person's words and actions.

i walked out of the house because i needed some fresh air to think clearly. instead, i found a new light. yes, it's cheesy, but when the sun rose, i really felt unexpectedly braver and more determined to decide. i can't help but wonder if i am about to do the right thing. am i doing the right thing? i really don't know, but i'm about to find out.

i realised this morning that it's my fault.

if not for me, this wouldn't be an issue right now. i wouldn't be stuck, and i wouldn't have to decide on anything at all. it's my fault. i was too careless and i so let myself fall. i let someone else fall. i guess i should have seen this coming. too late for that, i just know that i have to clean up the mess i made.  i should never have interfered in the first place and i need to say i'm sorry. sorry if i had ever in any way end up hurting anyone. i hope that you'll both believe me when i say i never meant for things to become like this and that i never wanted to hurt anyone. i still don't.

i promise, i will try to set things right. i just need some last few answers and when the time is right, i will set things on the right track again; back to the way it used to be before i came about. maybe it's best if everything went back to the way it was. and all i have to do is to be determined enough to see it through. i had all these thoughts today, and all before 5.30 in the morning.

the sun rose today like it did every other day, but something's changed. something is different. is it me? it just might be.


please let me be doing the right thing. please.