of blessings and joy.

sunflowers;
bright, bold, sunny, happy.

it's Monday already.

suddenly it seems that with school starting for me again, everything has about gone back to the way it was. time slips past me faster and faster as compared to when i was idle and waiting and the difference is really rather startling. but with my 1 week lectures done, it would seem that time management is going to be tested soon.

i had a conversation over lunch with nette the other day and the both of us were talking about how  the next one month is going to be. honestly we're rather worried about how we're gonna manage revising at least 1/2 the j1 work plus all the new j2 work. 1 month isn't a lot of time and with her travelling and me with other stuff, this one month is going to fly pass us. 

though it's not that we didn't expect this of j2 but preparing yourself for something mentally is very different from actually experiencing it. but we're still doing a little each day and hopefully all this work will amount to something when j2 officially starts.

that aside, i managed to have a little catch up sess with my 11s girls after their econs paper on tues. well, we're pretty much all the same, just overall relieved that this is coming to an end (for them at least) there's always something about the girls that make me both wanna laugh and cry with them. suppose that's what happens when you get attached to your friends and they become a part of you without anyone even realizing it.

and though i pray that Cherie will find a right answer to the problem she's facing now but in the end she has to choose herself. so han, if you're reading this, you know the 3 of us will be there for you regardless of your choice. just be happy yeah?

the past 1 week has been different (compared to the past 1 year that is) perhaps it's the things i've been doing or the people i'm once again seeing. it's shown me that i've changed in ways that i didn't even realise until someone pointed it out to me, it's shown me who are the friends that are important, it's taught me that people view me very differently as how i sometimes view myself (in a good way) and in a volunteer project i did on Sat i've really learnt that there's so many other meaningful things i can do in my free time.

to say that i'm barely being useful now is a rather big understatement but when a time comes where i'm not studying, then perhaps i'll find more time to give back to the right causes. there are so many people out there fighting for a good cause, and though i've known of them but perhaps never as much as in that 9 hours. sometimes we get so caught up in the life we're living that we forget there are other people out there with bigger problems than us. perhaps now i need to learn how to stop fussing over the small insignificant things and work for a better more meaningful cause.

and of the all the lessons i learnt that day, a sentence said by someone made the most impact:
"it's a blessing and joy to be able to help others as well, life isn't always only about ourselves."
it showed me how dedicated she was to her choice and i really respect that about her. 

oh and i managed to see Sam that day too.

hello sam (:

if you're reading this. i just wanna tell you how absolutely grateful and thankful i am for you. when i saw how happy you were for me, i was honestly a little stunned and i seriously had an urge to cry cause you were so ridiculously elated for me. you've really been someone who has taught me a lot even though we haven't spent much time together and though i know A's have taken it's toll on everyone, including you, but take heart that this is almost over. you're one of the bravest and strongest person i know, so all i would like to say is please always remain the way you are (: because who you are has helped so many people around you. thank you Sam <3