you.

second one for tonight.
it's almost one in the morning,
the time of night where people start to think too much.
i'm writing too often, but it's therapy for me.

sometimes i wonder if it was a mistake, but i don't like regretting.

i don't think it was a mistake 

just the wrong time, the wrong moment maybe.

one of my personal resolutions this year is to learn.

learn in every aspect possible.

learn to stay strong on my own, learn to let the past go

learn to be more detach, to be more forgiving, to be more independent.

learn to be less of a worry to people and to worry less about people

learn more about life, about trust and faith 

and maybe even learn how to say goodbye to some of the people i love the most; my family.

it's day 3 of the year

and i think i'm learning well.

i thought i didn't need an answer to go on with the year

but i realise that i always knew the answer.

i always say how time changes people, how no one is ever really the same.

i was wrong. partially at least

we're still the same people we were around each other, we just discovered more about each other.

time doesn't change anything that doesn't want to be changed

and so we're still the same; same laughs, same jokes, same way of talking to each other.

but we're also different

at least i know i am different.

different because unfortunately, i've learnt to expect.

and with every expectation, comes a sense of responsibility

one that no one is currently able to shoulder.

sometimes i wonder if i've been a disappointment to the people who expected something of me.

am i the person they thought i was?

or am i an utter disappointment of what they wanted me to be.

sometimes i wonder how you see me

and i wonder if i'm a disappointment to you.

life's too short for my endless "what ifs"

so i'll learn to stop asking 'what if' and just accept things as they are

i can finally feel a difference in 2013

but i'm not bitter about it, because i know that eventually i will find my own way.

and the fact that i can say that is a change from the me 5 years ago

that's something to be proud of.

everything happens for a reason, 

every person that is/was special to you has their purpose in your life.

i'm gonna keep this in mind and continue living life everyday.

whatever it was, whatever it will be

i'm just glad i met you.