cause i must be crazy.
i'm actually feeling uneasy when i don't have to study. WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?! when i need to study like crazy i feel tired when i don't have to study, i feel uneasy. I MUST BE CRAZY.
MYE's are officially out the building and god knows that our teachers are gonna be shaking their heads and puking blood while marking the stuff we wrote. well now, a good summary of what i've been through from tues till today is basically: woah. okay. we'll see how this goes.
not saying that everything was bad, i found lit and econs doable. but chem has never really been my best friend and neither has math for that matter. so yeap, we'll really have to wait and see. in the meantime i shall just enjoy as much as i possibly can till the results come back. which is about tuesday. oh mannn, so not looking forward to that.
the class headed out for our super overdue B&J's outing today after our math paper cause we had the $60 voucher. between lepaking at cathay and walking around plaza i realised that i got to know all these girls so much better these past 6 months.
they're really different from the 11s girls, but the 12s girls have their own special qualities and quirky characters that make each so unique. this all girls enviornment (minus zhangyao) is working out quite well for me if i may say so myself.
that aside i'm packed full for the next 3 days. literally. tomorrow i'll be meeting Ximin in the morning to buy her stuff before accompanying Jess to go shopping and lunching in town then in the evening i'll be meeting up with Jia to celebrate her overdue birthday with the amazing spiderman and dinner.
i have rock climbing on sat morning, then outing for the rest of the day with my long time no see sisters in town plus sleepover at their place and sunday will be spent with my parents out somewhere doing something which i haven't been told yet. honestly, i would really much like to stay at home and watch my videos and SLEEP . I JUST REALLY WANT TO SLEEP.
but i haven't spent time with some of these people in a really really long time, so no matter how tired i really am, i'll drag myself out to meet them. though 3 days in town is most probably gonna cost me more of my allowance than i would like. still, i'll take this chance to properly catch up with these people (smthing i didn't do during the hols cause i was studying like a mugger with no life)
i suddenly feel very ironic. while my closest j2 friends struggle to get through this MYE period and get A's over and done with, i'm barely done with this j1 year. i still have one more to go next year, yet this year is going by so fast. it's already almost july. august is next and before you know it, it'll be promos again.
i turn 18 in about a month's plus time.
18 years of my life,
what have i been doing these 18 years?
after this exam, i feel enlightened in terms of how i can improve myself. i know it's a little late to see this now but at least i feel like i know why i'm studying and what exactly i'm studying. suppose this is what's different: at least this time round i know what's wrong and i know what i have to do to correct it.
maybe my 18 years hasn't been as unfufilling as i once thought it was. only those who've seen me grow up will know that i've had my fair share of a difficult life, yet i've never been so clear as i am now that all those things that forced me to grow up faster has changed me in a good way. sure i had to go through alot of crap(nice term) but it made me a better person.
my (almost)18 years haven't been in vain. it's just been a process to make me tougher and prepare me for the rest of whatever that's coming my way. so this race, unlike what i thought, is barely even 1/4 on it's way. i will get through this. i know i will.
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