on her own.

" and i wonder if she ever gets lonely, out there on her own. "

suffocation found me talking a stroll this quiet wednesday night. somehow i found myself on the rooftop of the carpark looking up at the the night sky sprawled in front of me. the moon tonight looks beautiful and yet so lonely on her own in that vast sky. 

she's calm on the outside, but the storm clouds that drift by seem to reflect all her fears and little insecurities that she tries to hide. the things she wished she could say, the things she knows are too hard to say. there really isn't any other way. every graceful exterior hides a story; something that no one needs anyone else to know cause we all think that we can handle it on our own. perhaps it's that way for her too.

see she's never really alone. the stars up there keep her company just as they will be there to guide her along and keep her strong but as my teacher once told me: anyone can sympathize, but no one can really empathize cause everyone deals with different things. so no matter how much they do comfort her, she's still on her own.

sitting up there in the empty carpark, i couldn't help but stare at her.

i wonder if there are days when she feels like giving up though she knows the weight on her shoulders. she knows what she can do but falling short of of herself is becoming unacceptable. maybe there are days too, when she just wants to call it quits. yet, this is her job. this is what she must do just cause she has a responsibility to it. and given her character, she won't give up that easily.

to stay that bright in the dark sky, she must pay a price. what that price is, only she knows and only time will show how much she's willing to sacrifice to get back up there again; to shine brightly like she always did in the past. if you did it once, you can always do it again right?

sitting there, i looked at her for so long tonight. so much that i see my own reflection in her. i wonder if she heard the things i wanted to tell her. and i wonder if she knows that just like all those stars around her, deep down inside, i still believe in her too.