familiar.

sometimes i wished i wasn't so weak.

nights like these make me feel utterly useless and powerless over my emotions.

it doesn't happen often

but nowadays when i find myself starting to miss you,

i also find myself hurting.

that heavy feeling in my heart just won't go away

all i want to do is just to curl up and not think about it.

everything about today made me think of you.

doing the things i once did with you,

walking along the street we passed by,

the journey home with a stranger next to me

reminds me of the times you sat next to me, humored me, laughed with me.

things will most probably never be the same again.

i've accepted that.

but on the days that i find myself missing you,

i can't help but wonder what i did wrong.

it's so hard

having to pretend i don't care at all.

having to pretend that i'm fine with everything;

that life goes on.

yet i know that tomorrow when i wake up,

this heart wrenching feeling of missing you will be gone

and i'll be okay again.

that's the thing, it comes and it goes.

all those suppressed feelings eventually will break free

and tonight is just one of those nights 

where missing you becomes so unbearable that even my heart aches.

this really sulks.

what more is that you don't even know

or maybe you no longer care.

tomorrow i will wake up

and not feel any of these emotions that i'm having now.

tomorrow i will continue on as i have been since things changed.

i know you never left, but you haven't been around either.

not much of a difference is it?

suddenly i can't wait for tomorrow to come.

so that i can go back to studying and working for the things i need.

more importantly,

just so i can stop missing you so much.