Change.

Ending the week in a frenzy of things to do: it's the Mid-sem checkpoint and we are all in a mad rush for midterms, presentations, project deadlines and checks.

I spent the entire of Hell week one with less than 3 hours of sleep daily, several kg of milo (I kid you not, I am a huge milo fan haha) and working nonstop throughout the day and night. Lets just say I'm glad Hell week one and my 3 midterm papers are over. And now even Hell week two is over. Everything just flies by when you're busy yeah?

The thing about being insanely busy is how you pack yourself full and leave no room for anything else other than sleep, food and a shower. Sounds crazy, and it really really is hell of a tiring since I fall asleep instantly every night. But it leaves no room for me to think about other stuff - and sometimes that's a good thing.

Either ways, I took a much needed break tonight with some of the Uni girls. It felt good to eat GOOD FOOD <3 and talk and laugh like there were no deadlines and work (YEAH RIGHT.... I'm going back to them later haha) more than anything it felt good to just have a normal clique of girls, something I haven't really felt since the start of Uni but I'm glad I'm starting to find.

Some things are really funny.
The friendships I used to stress and worry myself over... they held no meaning once I found out what I really wanted, what kind of people I wanted to surround myself with. By then, it didn't matter what they thought, or how they wanted to treat me. I was okay with it. And with time, life set some other kind souls in my direction and everything's just working its own way out.

Funny isn't it?
Now that I'm so clear about the kind of people I want in my life, the kind of friendships and relationships I want to keep and am waiting for, it's become a lot easier to let some people go and to stop certain things before they even get started. I no longer worry TOO much (haha) over the things I cannot change. I just accept it.

And what an liberating feeling this is.

Not necessarily always the outcome I hoped for, but the one that perhaps I needed, that's why it's the way it is.

Whatever it is, school work is the biggest worry I have now HAHA (still not a nerd, I promise) and I'm glad that it's this way. It's the one thing I definitely have the power to change and it'll always be in my control, for the most part anyways. It's not been easy though, I have to admit.... there are so many days when I come back wondering why I chose the route less travelled and make life difficult for myself. There are nights when I'm so tired I wonder to myself "can I just give up?"

But there isn't regret, or second thoughts just acceptance that this was what I wanted and still what I want. For that reason alone, I won't and can't stop.