Can you hear me?

i'm awake.
i can't sleep, cause there's something bothering me. i'm lying in bed, and blogging on my itouch. this is a first. but i'm feeling very uneasy. something's wrong, yet i don't really know what it is. every night, I lay awake, trying to sleep. and all around, it's so quiet. i'm not super religious, but sometimes i pray.

hello up there, can you all hear me?
it's me again. i know i sometimes ask for things that seem too funny to ask for. still, there are times too when i ask for more erm, understandable things, like the determination and strength to follow through my decisions and face the future. But i keep forgetting another important thing. i need to say i'm sorry. i'm sorry for some of my mistakes, and the times when i didn't want to believe. though it's a little selfish, but i need help again. please let me put the past behind and face my mistakes. let me tie up lose ends and find a new...purpose. i know that i must also do something to change this, so i'll try too. just please, if it's possible, help me again. please.

thank you.