1:54 am.

it's 1.54 am, again it's way past my bedtime. i really should start adjusting back to my regular sleeping habits... so what am i doing up at this hour? i'm not really sure. 3 hours ago i was really sleepy, ready to collaspe on my bed and just sleep, yet now i'm wide awake and listening to Adele sing all my feelings. (i'm not telling which song though(: )

i had choir today, or rather yesterday. from now onwards, i'll be having choir 3 times a weeks, saturdays included. not knowing why, i'm once again in love with singing so i don't really mind. i suppose singing has been my on and off boyfriend for the past 11 years (:

i'm not sure what the purpose of my blogpost today really is, but i just feel like rambling. so whatever you're gonna read next is just random thoughts off my head. (i hope you don't mind) sigh, i'm starting school in 2 days. fear and anxiety is creeping up to me slowly... i honestly wonder what is going to be in store for me. there is a sort of excitement yet dread in my heart. is that even possible? i suppose it is seeing that it's i'm feeling right now. i really hope that it goes well.

that aside, with me starting school, january is almost at it's end. HOW DID IT BECOME END JANUARY ALREADY?! wasn't i just counting down to 2012 last week or something? i guess not. with end of january coming, it means that it's been almost a month since i've spoken to a close friend. haix. i miss that friend of mine, i really do. but i can't be selfish any longer and so if this is what is best for my friend, then so be it. still, there is a naggy feeling in my heart telling me that this shouldn't be the way between us.

and then there is this situation where i'm trying to figure out if i'm over a certain issue... i call it my 'square to line' theory. haha, technically it's not a theory, because it is LITERALLY a square to line situation. of the 4, one must decide to break the cycle and i think i'm that one, hence it's called MY 'square to line' theory. but maybe because of all my own opinions and thoughts, a guy friend said to me: aiya, all the women and your women logic, all gekiang only. you all don't really know what we're thinking.

hmm, i wonder if it's really us women being gekiang(act smart)... NAH, somtimes, it's just the men themselves. lol. okay, i'm done rambling about my thoughts. i really should go and sleep now, but seeing this post and all the things that are on my mind, i suddenly see why is it that i'm wide awake and thinking so much.