CNY 2012.

heh! sorry i haven't blogged in such a long time. saying i've been busy is an understatement, though one might say i have nothing to be busy about seeing that school hasn't officially started for me but well cny prep, occasional school and my own matters have been keeping me occupied.

so cny has passed, or at least the official holiday has. i hope that everyone has gotten lots of ang baos this year? cny this year for me has been exceptionally quiet, and an occasion for many first times. it's a change i suppose, from the routine of my previous years but seeing that i really wanted this year to be a year of changes, i'm actually quite glad things turned out this way (:

my angbao count this year is 1/4 of what it was last year? but i don't really mind, i got alot more of quiet and bonding time with those who really mattered this year, so it's a pretty fair trade off. suppose with this cny i felt alot more mature suddenly, as if i saw myself differently. looking at all the kids in the family grow up, our parents and grandparents growing old, the feeling of me growing up  and becoming somewhat an adult finally hit me.

i'm 18 this year. how that even happened i don't really know beacause in my memory i remember most cny as if they were only months apart and not years apart. we're all growing old, growing up and there's still so much left to be done with the rest of our lives, yet we've come far as well. i wonder why i'm speaking as if i've seen so much in life, but maybe for my age, i've seen quite alot.

that aside, i'm starting school next tues, with a 7 day long ag/orientation ahead. i know i said i couldn't wait to go back to school to start studying again, but suddenly i'm feeling a little anxious and a little afraid... i suppose this is normal too. we'll just have to see what's in store for me, staying positive will help though so that's what i plan to do (:

they say that with each passing year, you grow wiser. i never really thought that it was always that way, but this year i suddenly see the logic and the truthfulness of that saying. perhaps because i'm about to leave 'kid' behind and become more like an adult?

at the beginning of this year i said it was going to be different, that i wanted to change things. i just might be on my way.