hit the lights.

                                                         selena gomez - hit the lights.


this morning, i finally made a really hard decision regarding a certain issue. i say this because i had taken 3 days to finally come to this decision, and also because i risked alot of things when i decided to say those words.

this whole issue allowed me to reflect a little on myself, and it gave me alot to think about. i suppose everyone has been there once, the time when you didn't say what you really felt, the time you let someone get away, the time when you screwed up. we have our own unfufilled dreams, and all the little regrets. heh, that's just life i suppose.

yet with all these moments that we've experienced, i wonder why at times we still make our same mistakes and allow ourselves to have the same regrets again. i don't think it's because we didn't learn our lessons, or that the fall didn't hurt enough for us to remember. perhaps it's just that even though we constanly remind ourselves to never repeat our mistakes, it can still happen.

then there are instances where we fear so much of making the same mistakes that we don't even try. and in the end, we have other, even bigger regrets. someone once told me: if you want something and it's reasonable, look for it, ask for it. don't hold back and ask yourself what ifs. i suppose this person is right. yet i feel there are instances where there aren't any room for what ifs because the answer is obvious.

i think that if a person decides to ask something that he/she already knows the clear answer to, then that person is honestly either hoping for an impossible miracle to happen or just stupid. i know it sounds harsh, but i've done that before and honestly, i felt stupid then. life is a game where we take risks with every decision that we make. but when the stakes are too high, i often wonder if it's worth it to take those risks afterall.

hmm, i suppose the term once bitten, twice shy really does apply to me. and with that in mind, i made my decision. i don't know if i will regret my choice 5 years from now, but at least for now, i think i'm doing the right thing.