well, hello 2012.

2012.
it's not registering in my brain just yet, but i suppose i've transited quite well into the year 2012. unlike last year, when i woke up this morning, i actually felt like it was a new year. i don't really feel too caught up with my past year unlike at the beginning of 2011, maybe it's because 2011 went by so quickly i didn't really manage to register it completely in my head.

this year though, i'm a little more prepared. you might even say i was looking forward to 2012. cause i can finally leave the past as the past, and start over. today the whole family headed down to my gramps place in hougang to have dinner. it was nice seeing everyone again, from uncles and aunts who work all the time, to cousins who are too busy with school life, working life and whatever else it is that teenagers and kids have to deal with. the small little house was packed up with all of us.

we couldn't even sit down to eat, so there we were, 20 plus of us, crowded around the kitchen table that was packed with food, talking, eating and laughing so hard that we could barely swallow our food. that's how my family is. we're all from different backgrounds, we have different likes and dislikes. almost everything about us is different. we don't always agree with each other, but the one thing that makes us different from any other bunch of people we may meet on the streets is that we are a family.

these are the people who we can't choose, and that makes all the difference. i never really thought much about my family, mainly because we're all too caught up with our own lives to spend much time with each other. yet everytime something bad happens, i find that it is my family who is my biggest support. my cousins who have a 10 year age gap with me will cheer me up, listen to my problems, help me with stuff. and it's a vice versa thing. i suppose that's family. you don't have to be around each other all the time, but you give each other the most care when the time calls for it.

my new year resolutions this year:
1) do what i can, what i must, and what i want to.
2) cherish the people around me, esp my family.
3) be honest with myself.
4) no more loose ends.

i came up with that in 2 mins, and this is honestly the first time i've written my resolutions down. here's hoping that i can keep them. that being said, 2011 although a really fun-filled year for me, was still a year with a number of regrets. so i would like this year to be different, and since i'm getting a second chance, i'm going to do whatever it takes to make sure i do it right this time or at least have an ending that i'm happy with (:

this is only the beginning, i have a long way to go and i am honestly afraid.
but this time, i won't let that get to me.