Another night.

3.24AM

You always told me that if there was only one star in the sky at night, it would be Venus.

Another night
these 3 days feel longer than the past 3 months, how ridiculous does that sound?
we often feel the best and worst at night, simply cause night time is the time where things you never thought could happen happens but it's also the time when you can feel the loneliest and the thoughts in your head so messy and strong you feel absolutely lost and helpless in them.

Another night
where I can't sleep. Where I feel ridiculous and stupid because of the way I'm handling things. Where I feel lost and empty. It shouldn't be this hard. All I need to do is let go and go back to the way I was 4 months ago when you were just someone I knew. It shouldn't be this hard. And yet, it is.

Another night
of me looking at the clock constantly and wondering since when did time pass so slowly. Realizing that I only lost track of time because I had you with me. Its funny how someone can be such a huge part of your life in such a short period of time. But its tragic when they can let go of you that easily as well.

Another night
that I keep remembering all the things you've said to me and all the things we said we'll do together. It's like replaying a sad movie with a bad ending that you already know by heart. It's sad to know how pathetic I'm becoming again. It's tiring to keep pretending it doesn't bother me, it's painful to have to remind myself constantly of the reality I'm in.

Another night
of me wondering again and again:
How many more nights do I have to endure till my stupid heart is willing to try and let you go?