Close to tears.

Day 48.

The nights are getting colder.

Went to do some volunteer work with my parents today. It's about time, the last time I went with them was in Aug, while they've been going twice each month for the past 1.5 years. I have so much time now anyways, so I might as well right?

It's oddly comforting to give back to society. It feels like I'm finally doing something right and doing something useful with my time and with my life. At least I don't feel so much like I haven't been able to do anything right these past few weeks at all. It's something, small, but still something.

I started folding paper cranes lately.
Writing here doesn't help as much as I hoped it would. Although it's the only place left where I let myself show how I feel since I once promised you that we wouldn't let all the emotions out on Twitter anymore, or at least we said we would try not to. I tried I guess, though I'm bad at it. So I started this instead.

Every time I think of you now, whenever I miss you, whenever I can't sleep.
I'll fold paper cranes. I'll fold them till my fingers hurt.
And I'm tired enough to sleep the moment my head touches the pillow.
That way it's easier you see.
If I'm exhausted I won't remember what I dream about at night.
I won't remember you.