Breathee.

Day 97.

IT'S TOMORROW. EEEYERRRR.
I needa take deep breaths. BREATHE. Alternating between totally calm and in a panic frenzy today... How's that possible? It is possible.

All or nothing huh. That's how that cert's gonna be.
There's always a plan B (positive thinking, think positive, think positive) My heart's racing in a not so pleasant way and my palms are all sweaty, haven't felt like that in awhile. Haix. Been distracted and drifting in my thoughts all day, about time for that to stop.

Grandpa told me that if I don't do well it's okay. He'll treat me to Macdonals and ice cream. And even mum said it's fine if I end up in a private Uni (I didn't expect this from her) cause she knows I tried. Thankful for the people who believe in me, but I'm so damn scared of letting myself and them down again. 3 years for this, it can't be for nothing. There has to be something I can show for, please. Not quite sure if that's a plea or a prayer, at this point, maybe both. Leave it in the hands of God I guess, I've done what I can. There's nothing more, and nothing I can change.

Just hope I don't get emotional tomorrow. All the girls telling me they'll end up crying whether happy or sad and I'm just like: NO. I DON'T WANNA CRY. NO. I shall not show emotion, I shall try at the very least. I can do that, I can do that right?

At least the mad ache in my body is keeping me slightly distracted. On hindsight, cardio 4 days straight may have been a really, really, REALLY bad idea but it kept me distracted and I needed that. I have a feeling I'm not going to get much sleep tonight though, most of us really. Everyone's nervous whether or not they say it.

It's going to be okay, I'm going to be Okay.
Really wish I have you here to remind me of that right now.