We are Selfish.

"When you find someone you care about, you do what you can to keep them around."

-HIMYM

Day 115.

In reality we know very well what we are doing
painting false hope in our own minds and creating visions out of things that aren't there.

Why?
The reason is simple;
it's because humans are seemingly insistent on things we cannot seem to let go,
on feelings that we know we should not harbor
even though we know what we are doing is wrong.
Maybe we think this is the only way for us to live on until one day the feelings fade to nothing
by clinging on to whatever we can, however we can.
Because we don't really know if there is such thing as the right way.

We do it not to idolize them, or just to put them on that holy pedestal in our hearts.
We do it for our own selfish reasons:
because we love them, because we think we need them, we want to be the ones who make them happy
because we don't want to let go of something that was a little too good to be true.

At the end we suffer the most.
For we place the burden we call "love" on them, causing them suffering
thinking that if we love them enough, they'll realise it.
Truth is they do know, just they can't or don't care.
You are maybe, by now, their past tense. Something they've put behind them
Someone they no longer want or can have in their lives, if they have you it's out of courtesy.

And the sadder truth?
It's that despite knowing all of that,
You still Love him.