Harder.

Day 6.

Does the rain make people feel lonelier?
I don't think so. Just, it gives the illusion of loneliness I suppose. No you to keep me warm on cold days like this anymore. How odd this feeling is.

1st December 2013
I woke up today and found myself in a completely new month. It's a little unexpected and a little shocking too. I didn't really know how to react to this.
It's December already, how fast that's been. This entire year, everything that has happened; A-levels, discovering a new me, making friends, losing a family member, learning to cope with life, having you in my life and now me alone again. All so fast.

Every December for the past 2 years hasn't exactly been a good one for me. I thought this year would be different, turns out it most probably is going to be the same as well. They say Happiness is a Choice. I know it is. After all, we control how we think and feel (sort of) and everyone wants to be happy right? It's just that this choice is sometimes hard to make and harder to go through with.

Sunday
Church day.
I hope you find the Faith you said you're losing and I hope you don't lose it the same way I lost you. I hope you find it in you to smile and laugh the way only you can because that is one of my favourite things about you.

Day 6.
I really need sleep. I look into the mirror and see the mess I'm becoming.
It's just that it's harder to sleep when you're stubborn and over-thinking
It's harder to sleep when you know you're acting immaturely but you just can't seem to correct your behaviour.
There's always going to be an excuse for me to give to say why it's harder,
but I know very well myself
that Maybe I'm just not trying hard enough.