The End of another Beginning.

Day 36.
New Years Eve.

So it's the end of 2013.
I have a feeling this is gonna be a really long post cause I woke up this morning with bits of memories from this whole year in my head. The good, the bad, the amazing, the awkward and what not. And maybe, just maybe I'm gonna try and write it all down. HAHA.

It's really been a hmm... packed year I would say. Looking back now it would seem like everything went past so quickly with the main idea of A-levels and nothing much left. Thinking about it properly now there was so much in our everyday lives. So many things that happened, that changed. People and relations, ideas, realizations, struggles. All of it.

Well, 2013 has been FAST.
Something that everyone would agree with me on. Haha. Guess it's cause it was our A-level year too. Everyone always says that the A-level year goes by without you being able to really even register much of what went on. In a way, I suppose it's kinda true. Everyday was a race to keep up and keep going till we reached the final destination. Everyday we all had our own battles to fight. Some with ourselves, some with others. It was a struggle, to not give up and to not let the people around us give up.

When I went back to school this year, I had a lot of reservations. All that I didn't sort out in 2012, I carried all those little worries into the new year. But after it started, surprisingly it was different. A good sort of different. All my worries, were really nothing much to worry about. It was about letting go and finding peace and a new group of people who took me for me, and accepted me for who I am. Funny how after I realized that, everything became easier. I had more fun, met more people, made more friends. I was happier too, growing closer to the people that mattered all along (my annoying burdens) and getting to know people better, some of which are now always around me.

Guess that's the way things work, you learn to let go a little and not take things so hard, stress less and some how it all becomes a little easier.
That's what you always told me nearing the prelims and A level period. It's what you always told me when I was stressing out and panicking. That and also you always said you believe in me. Now that I think back, I knew then you were right, just I was still freaking out ALL the time. Haha, I'm just grateful to have had you with me then. You really are my rock through all the down times I've had in the past few months, so thank you for that :)
I once whined about not being able to spend Christmas or New Year's with you cause you wouldn't be around. Back then you said it's okay, we would have many years ahead to spend together. Guess we still will, but it'll be different. Real different huh...

It's been such a crazy year, but I won't forget the people who made me laugh till I rolled on the floor and cried, I won't forget the mornings I had breakfast with my burdens before school, the retarded singing sessions I had with Char in class, the hthts with all ma girls and some guys too. HAHA. The times I was there when my friends needed help, the times they were here when I needed them. The people who cried with me, laugh with me, laughed AT ME (Chawit, I mean you. HAHA). I won't forget you either, everything you gave me then, what we had and what I've learnt from you. People who gave me memories, good and bad. People who changed my perspectives, taught me things and changed me forever. I won't forget it, any of it. I promise.

I started this year the same as the past 2 years after I repeated J1: telling myself it's a fresh start. I'm going back to zero, I'm starting over. Looking back on my 3 years here now and all the crazy things that have happened in my time in MJ, maybe I might start 2014 with the same notion, but a little different: It's a fresh start, but I'm not at zero anymore and I'm not starting over, I'm starting from here.

No one can ever wipe away everything and have a clean slate, so I'm not going to try.
All that has happened this year; the happy times, the sad, the smile, the hurt, the fears, the memories, the things I learnt about myself and from others. I'm going to take all of that and keep it with me as 2014 comes. They will be a reminder of the things I'm grateful to have and the people who I'm thankful for.
It's been a long 3 years.
With so many times where I wanted to just give it all up, but I had support from the best families anyone can ask for, and from so many of the really amazing friends I've made, even from you too. That's why I never gave up, even though it wasn't always smooth sailing be it with these people or at school. I never gave up cause of all of these people and cause I choose this, and I was going to finish what I started.

Now that I've done it, it feels good :)
I may not know what's waiting for me, and maybe it's going to be an even harder year. But its okay. Whatever comes, I'll find a way. I'm just thankful for 2013.
I've fallen down a couple of times, lost family and someone I love, but the year has taught me more than I thought I could learn. It's given me friendships, experiences, a relationship and memories I will always keep with me.
I'm finally leaving MJ. A little odd, and bittersweet. But I'm ready to start something new again :) I guess all that's left to say is thank you to the people who made this journey such a memorable one, thank you to the people who have helped me grow or encouraged me in any way at all these past 3 years. I wouldn't be here without all your help.

Time to end 2013.
A part of me doesn't want to let this year go, but I know I have to.
Here's hoping 2014 will be kind to all of us :)